Wota Want To Be Kanna, Or: Possibly TMI Fun In Relation To Kid Idols

Times like these that I wonder why I get so involved in… I don’t know, like, the lives, the well-being of the girls in Hello! Project. I’m telling you, it’s difficult! It is really, really hard. You know, all of my favorite idols usually end up being terribly handicapped in some way, or they have some awful problem, or just… whatever. I always pick the lamest ones.

Just for comparison’s sake, let’s look at what might be considered the more “perfect” girls in Hello! Project. Here’s an easy one… Sugaya Risako. Sure, she can’t sing, she’s got attitude problems like nobody’s business, but these things are all very easily overlooked because she’s fourteen years old and she’s jailbait city. I mean, right? She’s a lead. No problems there. Um, how about another one? Kago Ai, golden girl from the very beginning. Sure, you say you feel so horribly betrayed by her when she smokes or gets it on with old men, but then she comes back and you’re right back at her feet again. Don’t lie.

Now let’s look at my favorites. In her history, Michishige Sayumi has accidentally thrown a microphone, leaving her with no choice but to mime her way through the rest of a live television performance. Ishimura Maiha could not dance for shit. While she is not related to Hello! Project at all, Matsushima Hatsune is the kind of girl you’d laugh at and trip in the halls if she didn’t have some pretty amazing knockers to her name. I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say. All I can tell you is the truth.

This has created a pretty bad habit of… I guess you’d call it “mothering from afar.” And a majority of these girls are either older than me or nearly my age, but I just can’t help it. They need help. To my credit? This is usually, for the most part, a joke. I feel the “aww” reaction, but I do not act upon it… because I’m in the fucking United States.

However. (And this is the first of many times that I’ll say it, but this is the hardest thing…) This is the first time that I have, for real, felt that mothering instinct in full force. Like, “Bitches, get out of my way! Move, motherfucker! My baby needs me!” It is seriously hard.

Oh, Kanna. You’re breaking my heart.

Ishimura Maiha? Who Is That Again?

Oh, God. I knew there was a reason why I had been trying to stay away from La Blogosphere, and this is it. In a Berryz Koubou ranking post, long-ignored former member Ishimura Maiha gets this lovely little bit of acknowledgment: Uh…….who?

When the blogger moves on to ℃-ute and whines about Murakami Megumi like they all do, they receive this input from Intl. Wota: It breaks my heart reading about yet another dismayed Megumi fan. The post is stamped with another casually tossed out “recommended reading” tag and everyone moves on, but I’m still left here, thinking, “Why?”